Print This Article     Email This Article to a Friend       In the Heat of the Moment   We've all been there—in the heat of the moment when our blood is beginning to boil. We want to reach out and shake the person we are talking to and make them see things our wayÂ… we are in the middle of a conflict. Unfortunately, not many people know how to deal properly with this situation. It's easy to fall into the world's way of handling conflict, which is far removed from the kingdom's way. But the Scripture remains clear—we are called to walk in harmony with one another. Love People, Not Opinions What will really help you in dealing with conflict is a commitment to love people more than you love your own opinions. When you would rather protect your opinions than let go of them to benefit or bless another person, you can be assured that problems are going to arise out of that situation. Be willing to yield to reason. Don't be dogmatic. Thomas Jefferson made the statement that when it comes to matters of principle, defend it "to the t," but when it comes to matters of preference, flow with the stream. I consider that very good advice. Opinions can produce unnecessary conflict. Love people more than your opinions. Mercy Motivated When it comes to conflict resolution, give others the benefit of the doubt. If you do not have hard evidence about a situation, do not be suspicious, thinking the worst of someone. That is the world's way. God says we're to be merciful, and that means we're to give others the benefit of the doubt. Learn to be flexible. Someone can have a better idea than you do. If that is the case, don't be so rigid in your approach to organization or ministry that you cannot change. We are creatures of habit. We tend to fall into patterns of behavior we are comfortable with. When someone comes up with a better idea than yours—which will happen frequently because there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors (Proverbs 11:14)—go with the flow. It will often be what is best for the organization. A Way of Escape The Bible says we are to die to self, but the truth is, God created us with an ego. Sometimes we can abuse that and become self-centered in our activities, because our self-identity is important to us. If you need to confront someone, don't back him or her into a corner and not give that person a way to save face. Otherwise you will destroy any possibility of working with that person again. Always provide a way of escape if you need to confront someone. Fire Starter or Firefighter? Check your own attitude. When it comes to conflict resolution, do you have many conflicts going on lately? Is this getting to be the rule rather than the exception? Some people never have any conflict; other people always have a fire burning somewhere. If you always have a conflict going on, there is a pretty good possibility the problem is with you. You will have to do some serious self-examination, because conflict should be the exception rather than the rule. Handling Conflict Let me give you a few more tips about handling conflict. Don't overreact. I know the heat of the moment always makes the issue seem more significant than it is. But that is why the Bible says in James 1:19 to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. There may even be some instances when you should not respond at all. There may be a little ripple on the pond, but you will magnify it by giving it attention. Know when you have to respond, and do not overreact when you do. View conflict as an opportunity to learn, and it will help you avoid the tendency we all have, which is to avoid conflict. Use it to sharpen your skills as a communicator, to improve someone's performance in the kingdom of God and to move the organization ahead. Lastly, when it comes to conflict resolution, always be a risk taker. Risk being wrong. Risk the unpleasant words that might come. Risk someone's anger. Risk being the one to step out and resolve the conflict. Don't ever let fear cause you to stand back and let conflict go unresolved. That will always do more harm than good. Conflict is never enjoyable, but it is something that we all encounter. We need to learn to deal with it properly so we won't be caught following the world's way when the heat of a moment begins to rise.
HOME |  WORKPLACE WISDOM |  MAC HAMMOND'S BIO |  WINNER'S LUNCHEON |  RESOURCES   MAC HAMMOND MINISTRIES · PO BOX 29469 · MINNEAPOLIS · MN · 55429 Copyright © 2010 Living Word Christian Center, All rights reserved.