Print This Article     Email This Article to a Friend       Effective Communication   "Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much." That was John Wayne's approach to communication. And it's a pretty good one when you think about it. Your ability to communicate effectively has a big impact on every aspect of your life. J. Paul Getty once wrote, "There may be no single thing more important in our efforts to achieve meaningful work and fulfilling relationships than to learn to practice the art of communication." In Matthew 5:37, Jesus encourages us to keep our communication straightforward, honest, and concise. He said, "When you communicate, let your yes be yes and your no be no." But communicating is more than just talking. It's a two-way street that involves as much or more listening than speaking. A recent study by a prominent business group identified four major benefits that accrue to good listeners. The study found that good listeners are more highly respected because they've shown they care about others. They tend to be better informed because active listening results in greater learning. Listeners were better able to get things done because they were better motivators of people. And finally, skillful listeners were much more likely to be "listened to" because they'd made others feel important. Obviously, listening is a powerful ingredient in a winning lifestyle. Perhaps that's why we read in James 1:19, "be swift to hear and slow to speak." That same study discovered some common characteristics of good listeners—traits that line up remarkably with principles we see in the Bible. Here are the four marks of an expert listener as identified by the Sperry study: 1. Facts vs. Ideas Good listeners listen, not just for "facts," but for "ideas." They wrote, "When you listen only for facts, you may not grasp the ideas or themes of the speaker. We find similar encouragement in the wisdom of the book of Proverbs where we read, "Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances. Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear." Every time someone speaks to you, an idea as valuable as gold may be coming your way. Listen for it. 2. Look Beyond the Speaker Are you missing important messages because of an angry or ineffective messenger? One of the recommendations that came out of that study was this: "Judge 'what' the speaker says, not 'how' it is said." In other words, don't let a speaker's delivery get in the way of your understanding the message. For example, a person who is angry with you may have some valuable input or insight. In Proverbs we read, "A wise man heeds instruction, but a fool does not listen to a rebuke." Tune out an angry speaker and you may miss a priceless nugget of information. Look past the messenger and the delivery for truth and insight. 3. Be Patient Are you a patient listener? Given the fact that you can think four times faster than someone can talk, you're going to have to be if you want to master winning through listening. One of the keys identified in the study was "concentrated patience." When your thoughts race ahead of a speaker's words, you can become detached and miss important information. In Ecclesiastes we read, "The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride." Don't jump to conclusions when you're listening. Be patient and focused and you'll be on your way to winning through listening. 4. Be Optimistic The Sperry study also found that the best listeners are optimistic listeners. The Bible has a lot to say about "expectation" and "expectancy." There is a spiritual principle at work in the universe which causes us to get what we "expect." The study found that "optimistic listeners"—those who expected a speaker to say something of value—tended to be more successful. Skillful listeners look for and find truth, insight and information in those who speak to them, and they do so because it's what they expect. Make a decision now to increase your effectiveness as a Christian and a communicator by becoming a more effective listener.
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